Time to Regulate the Trees

Andrew is taking Ethics at the college this semester. His first assignment was to write a one-sided essay entitled "(something)ticks me off" providing two reasons justifying his claim that the "something" was immoral. He has already been mentally wrestling with this professor who claims that all Christians are bigots so kept his paper light.

Trees Tick Me Off

Trees are immoral. They are the most plentiful large life forms on earth, but they are not currently helpful to other life forms. They are, in fact, detrimental to the health of the surrounding people, animals and smaller plant life. The two main reasons trees are immoral are that trees are dangerous and that they litter.

Trees are immoral because they are dangerous, not just to humans but to animals and other plants also. It is wrong to needlessly hurt animals and people but trees will do this. Trees are dangerous in many ways. They drop sticks and branches and any person, animal or plant not watching carefully could be hit, crushed or potentially impaled. Things dropped from trees such as sticks, branches, pine cones, and sweet gum balls are a hazard to barefooted people or animals who tread upon them. Trees have also been known to fall over and crush any unsuspecting person, creature or plant. Falling trees have also hit houses, sometimes injuring the occupants. Trees do not have the decency to move when something is coming. Cars hit them all the time, making the trees accomplices in causing injury and death. These incidents could be avoided if trees would just get out of the way.
Trees are also immoral because they litter. Litter is harmful to other life forms and is unsightly. There are laws against people littering but trees somehow get around them. Trees litter by dropping sticks, branches, leaves, pinecones, bark, and themselves, all over the place. They drop so many leaves that they will cover the grass or smaller plants, keeping them from getting their life light from the sun and leading to starvation and death. Leaves will also conceal other objects such as rocks and logs which animals and people trip over. I understand litter is usually considered anything non decomposable or unnatural, but what causes more trouble than a big branch or tree across the road? There is not time to wait for it to decompose, someone has to go and move it. For being some of the oldest things on earth they should know better than to drop their waste just anywhere.
The solution to this problem is apparent. Regulations must be made pertaining to trees. There needs to be harsh punishment for injuries or deaths caused by trees, as well as for litter. There must be specific areas for trees to deposit their waste out of the way, where it can be used safely for compost. If laws are not implemented, trees will undoubtedly remain as immoral as ever.